Monday, February 20, 2006

Admissions Of A Non-Cook

My mother has a point, as mothers sometimes do. For the record, my wardrobe is both fashionable and, when it has to be, formidable. I may not be paying constant homage to the label Gods as some people are wont to do but I don’t sacrifice quality or style. That said, fact remains that I often don’t buy things with the excuse that it’s too ridiculously overpriced and as my mother pointed out yesterday, anyone who eats out practically every single day and not at fast food restaurants has no right to cite temperance or frugality as her argument.

Temperance and frugality are interesting concepts. They are decidedly unfashionable for starters. What is fashionable is to be irresponsible, well-dressed and in debt. To pass up an overpriced Balenciaga motorcycle bag in the name of saving is as horrifying as the admission that you really think it’s quite ugly. Which it is but you are not supposed to say that because heaven forbid, it’s a designer label and when was the last time a famous designer created something so revolting that it deserved to be quarantined at birth instead of being bagged and tagged and sold to the masses? Fendi spy bag anyone? But I digress. I didn’t mean to go on a tirade against monstrosities masquerading on people’s arms thanks to their cult status. Quite to the contrary, I should probably get off my soapbox and stop pretending my relative temperance in the shopping department is such a great virtue when my spending habits in other areas are so out of control. Without divulging any details let me just say I spend enough on food that I could be buying a new Louis Vuitton bag (and sometimes two) every single month of the year.

But it’s so easy to swing by the cafetaria or make a short jaunt to the quaint bistro down the road with some coworkers at lunch or check out the new Thai restaurant in town with some friends on a fine evening. In this day of modern conveniences there really is no need to cook at home. If it isn’t the cafetaria, the bistro or the Thai restaurant there are always the old standbys like Chinese takeout, Panera or Whole Foods. Even some supermarkets offer decent salad bars and since you are already there why not pick up some other stuff too. Save you a trip. Really, there is no reason to cook at home unless it is for the joy of cooking.

Ironically, modern conveniences are also the reason why cooking at home makes sense. It is economical and with the advent of technology a kitchen full of appliances like the food processor, blender, chopper etc can make short work of an otherwise intimidating recipe. There are even books on microwave cooking which cut meal preparation down to an exact science and leave you plenty of time to indulge in your favorite hobbies, whatever they may be.

One of the disadvantages of being able to see both sides of an argument sometimes is that you can get caught up in it and take a little too long to pick a side. Or maybe it is my natural disinclination to do anything that can ever bestow upon me the terrifying title of Domestic Goddess. I have this secret fear that once people find out that I can cook and clean I will never be able to go back to my old lifestyle of being the slightly sarcastic, occasionally deep, caring but free-spirited girl that people admire and will be relegated to the role of a "but-you-can-cook-and-clean-so-oh-why-aren’t-you-married-yet?" hanger on. At least now they say, "Well, she hates football and refuses to cook. And you know, she is always taking off for places unknown. How many times has she moved in the last ten years? Tsk, tsk. And all that watching jeopardy and turning her nose up at gossip. No wonder she isn’t married yet."

Which is kind of how I like it. But maybe I should start cooking. It’s not that I can’t cook at all. But, generally speaking, cooking doesn’t excite me unless I am throwing a dinner party or there is someone in the kitchen with me. And I am not in the mood for company right now. Maybe I need to start small. Like... with an omelette!


Blogger Reviewer "Devil" Extraordinaire said...

I hear ya !

I dress fashionably without being a label-whore and I love to cook. And no humans have been harmed in the consumption of my cooking.

As a heterosexual man, I do get the occasional snarky comment "He dresses sharp, loves to dance, ...,....and cooks too. He must be gay. Or else why is he single?"

Oh well...there are people and then there are people.

2/20/2006 10:54 PM  

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