Saturday, February 25, 2006

Breakdown Lane or Road To Recovery?

I came across a post where a woman admits to sleeping with another woman’s boyfriend. She writes about enticing him despite his rebuffs and making several encore attempts afterwards all while he was still with his girlfriend. She ends on a tone of humor noting that he wasn’t interested after all in the end and a certain amount of charming helplessness that this has happened several times before attributing it to some special pheromones of which she is possessed that undoubtedly make men forget fidelity around her.

Personally, I think the constant encouragement might have had something to do with it too.

I learned something about me today. I am capable of despising a complete stranger.

I had a date of sorts with my neighbor, the one I almost ran over a few weeks ago. Instead of coming after me with a bat or threatening to sue me as would have been befitting he had offered me his coffee thereby claiming a permanent spot in my heart. This kind of humanity (or is it insanity?) is not something you come across everyday. It deserves to be rewarded. Still, in keeping with my strict serial monogamy theme I wasn’t planning on dating anyone until I figured out where things were going with John.

That is, until I went to Target.

Is Target the new hotbed of action? Who knew. I got asked out twice - once in the towel aisle and once in the kitchen aisle. I guess appearance of domesticity is a turn on for some men. The towel guy didn’t actually come out and say anything. He just followed me around asking for advice on towels and hinting at things. The kitchen aisle guy was more direct and incredibly attractive in a Luke Wilson kind of way. Charming too. When I said I wasn’t dating for the second time he smiled disarmingly and said he had to give it the old scout’s try. (Aww. They are finally teaching boys scouts some real life skills these days.)

It wasn’t until I was on my way home that any of this sunk in though. I refuse dates on autopilot. On the drive home I found myself thinking. I saw a Dr. Phil episode once, the only one I have ever watched, where he told a woman that she had to go out more and that if she kept hiding a guy will have to throw himself in front of her car for her to meet him. So, when Coffee Guy caught up with me right after and said I owed him a cup of coffee I figured why not. He has come as close to throwing himself in front of my car as anyone. I will just buy him a damn cup of coffee. Which I did, at 2.

I just got home. It’s past 11. We went to this nearby place that has a video game parlor, a multiplex movie theater, a Barnes & Noble, several coffee shops and one of my favorite restaurants. And somehow we managed to hit all of them. It was nice. It was better than nice.

And, yet, the first thing I did on walking in through my front door, was cry.


Blogger srchngformystry said...

i find myself refusing invitations to coffee or dinner as if they were marriage proposals. i know why i do this. it is fear. fear of having someone come too close to me. fear of wanting someone and not having the same returned. but you seem to be a fantastic girl. why not allow someone in?

2/26/2006 8:14 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i love reading you and what it says about you. As for resenting the girl in that post - it's only natural given your own experience but i agree with creative, don't shut yourself out to the world.

2/26/2006 12:56 PM  
Blogger Nick Zegarac said...

Okay, there's not much here to critique other than the fact that you're lonely (explains the tears) and want a man (thank last a sane girl about the opposite sex who's NOT a lesbian) - just not any of the one's that want you.

The two guys you racked up at Target sound way too desperate and lonely. I mean "hey, nice napkin rings and salt/pepper combo. Wanna cook me dinner?" - NOT!

From a sane man's perspective, you're doing alright. You're discriminate and polite in your refusals...and you didn't make any sudden movements while backing away!

Cheer up, girly. Mr. Right will come along some day. When that happens my best advice to you is keep your foot off the gas.

2/26/2006 3:18 PM  
Blogger Reviewer "Devil" Extraordinaire said...

I have always had absolute contempt for cheaters. And for that woman, she is absolute scum !

I have never been able to date other people once I am dating someone who shows promise (even if there is no mututally-exclusive pact). Because it makes me feel bad about treating the others like a backup plan.

Maybe we are similar.

2/26/2006 10:31 PM  
Blogger cherchezlafemme said...

Thanks. I am always surprised I get such supportive comments and feedback and not a "Suck it up!" :)

As Deepak Chopra says, we fear that what has already happened to us. I am working on it.

2/27/2006 12:23 PM  

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