Wednesday, February 01, 2006

I Need A Hobby - Part 1

I have decided to take a hobby. I considered taking a lover but that seemed like too much work. Actually, I considered taking several lovers (a certain promiscuity is in order after years of strict serial monogamy) but, alas, that seemed like even more work. Plus, after last night and given my history of the last few years I am not sure I should be considering men in any capacity for regular inclusion into my life right now. So I have decided to play it safe and go with a hobby instead.

Switching gears for a second, let me explain where I am coming from. Life isn't about the shoes, the bags or even the anger, rage and depression that eventually overtakes all of us at some point or another. It's about finding a purpose and a calm within. It's about accepting you for who you are. I have known this all along. For better or for worse. But I haven’t always been able to put it into practice. My sense of self-worth has never been tied to the superficial, thankfully, and I haven’t given in to the darker moments in life but those things, the outward influences, have altered my perception of reality. And over the years they have subtly but surely changed me so that I find myself today, at the dawn of reawakening, asking of no one in particular, Who am I? Who have I become? And how did I get here?

I don’t know the answers. I have fragments of memories floating around in my head in a surreal manner defying all conventions of gravity, time and chronology. Maybe if I took the time to sit patiently and stitch a pattern out of them they will yield some enlightenment but as it is it’s a little hard to say, "this is how I got here and here’s why."

So where does the hobby come in? I need something, a thread of continuity in my life. I don’t know if it will help me with any great epiphany but it’s time I found some other constant than work. (Even more important since work is often a large part of my daily stress to begin with.)

But what? It’s easy to say I am going to get a new hobby but the actual selection process is fraught with complications. I have done many things before but none seem to quite fit anymore. I need something new, something now, something that should be fairly easy (so I don’t get discouraged too soon), repeatable (skiing in Aspen sounds fun but really, even funds permitting, how often will I be doing that?) and at least marginally enjoyable (scrubbing the bathtub may sound like a great daily activity .. IF you like that sort of thing.)

10 Comments:

Blogger goofyvideo said...

Just an Invitation to my blog!
Post your "Great" Ideas about anything & read others!

2/01/2006 11:00 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

knitting! it's not for old ladies anymore!

2/02/2006 10:29 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My advice is don't focus so much on "something new"; rather, look back in your life to those things that you repeatedly return to, whether its reading, walks, coffee drinking, movies, or one of the hardware hobbies like crafts, and then try to spend more time just doing and refining that thing.

2/02/2006 11:31 AM  
Anonymous becky said...

how about hiking in the mountains? I agree with 2nd anonymous, find something you know you already like. how about writing? you are good at it.

2/02/2006 11:41 AM  
Blogger Neil said...

Uh, isn't blogging a hobby?

2/02/2006 11:50 AM  
Blogger beefdrop said...

I like the naughty nimpho idea best. You've been hanging in there for four years, i'd say its about time to let loose. Also, don't give up on John, he sounds like a winner. And I bet you had the 'pretty woman' effect on him. Not that your a prostitute or anything like that, but he probably felt sympathy for the turmoil you had to deal with on the date (the wine, your hair, the hospital). This ignites a protective quality in men, and he may want to take care of you. What was the conversation like at the hospital? Was it dead, or did you guys chuckle about the evening? I'd think that would be the best way of determining whether a future date may be occuring. Did you guys decided to see eachother again or what?
On another note, plants are easy and fulfilling hobies. I'm guessing that you get some good sun, if you're elevated, you could try a little greenhouse or something (you can buy tomatoe ones anywhere). You'll enjoy watching the sprouts grow into beautiful flowers, and you only have to water them really. Its joyfull and easy. What do ya think?

2/02/2006 12:20 PM  
Blogger Coloratura said...

I second knitting... photography is a good one too...

2/03/2006 12:02 AM  
Blogger cherchezlafemme said...

These are all great ideas. Thanks everyone. Now I just need to pick one.

2/03/2006 1:09 PM  
Blogger OpenRoad said...

There is something about wheel throwing...the clay, the focus, the control. Pottery.

2/04/2006 9:06 PM  
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