Thursday, March 02, 2006

The Nature Of Regrets

Since it hasn't even been 36 hours since I was waxing eloquent on the subject of regrets and time misspent it is only fair that I should turn around and start regretting the way I am spending my time.

I haven't cooked since last Tuesday. I haven't done any drawings since the last one weeks ago. I haven't been to the gym since last Friday. And so on and so forth. Of course, there are many things I have done but that's not what this post is about.

It's kind of funny that when I think of regrets, even think back really hard, those are the things I can think of. Somehow I don't regret meeting T or the last 4 years. I don't regret my childhood with poverty as its constant companion. I don't regret anything about the 16 school years despite so many things not going my way so many times. I don't even regret the 8 years in Big 4 consulting even though I was always gone and missed many opportunities to connect with friends and family and would be lovers. It's the not cooking since last Tuesday that I regret.

I guess as regrets go there are worse ones.

John & I have plans to go bowling again tonight. We made plans on Monday but I have been thinking of cancelling because I have so much to do. My upcoming leave is less than 3 weeks away and then I will be gone for six weeks. I want to straighten my apartment, learn to cook, sign up for Salsa lessons, stick to the marathon training schedule, list some things on eBay, weed out some old clothes to donate to charity and maybe buy some new ones. Excuses. Reasons to not go out and do something fun. But I can't help but accept that I tend to regret the things I don't do a lot more than the things I do no matter what the outcome.

So, the cleaning will have to wait for tomorrow, drawing I will have plenty of time for when I am back home and Salsa lessons will still be here when I get back. Tonight I go bowling. Because as regrets go, not cooking since last Tuesday is a lesser one than not going out with a guy I like because I am afraid.


Blogger Reviewer "Devil" Extraordinaire said...

Good decision !

I would rather do something and live with the consequences rather than suffer the regrets of "What-if".

Some may say it is the Saggittarian impulsiveness. My rule of thumb is always this

"The right decisions are always the tough ones. That is why very few make them"

3/02/2006 11:57 PM  
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3/03/2006 6:39 AM  
Blogger srchngformystry said...

i love the wisdom that shines clearly when we are choosing between possibilities and fear. good decision!!!

3/03/2006 8:55 AM  
Blogger beefdrop said...

I try not to regret, but I do recognize times in my life when I've hurt or damaged other people, and I definately regret those occurences. Most of those regretful situations, I have gone and looked up the people and either talked to them in person, or through a letter, and I've tried to appologize and at least let them know I recognized that I did something that hurt them. Some people deny that what I did had any effect on them, that they have no idea why I'd be thinking about that particular thing, etc. But there have been other people that validate my attempts of redemption and offer my forgiveness and understanding. I was always a fan of the movie "Flatliners", with Keifer Sutherland, and the idea that things can come back to haunt you. I guess the haunting occurs when those memories that are tucked away, somehow re-surface and take up your energy, and maybe your focus. The past interupting the present.

3/03/2006 12:11 PM  

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