Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Home, Sweet Home

Every time I get upset or stressed I develop writer's block. I can post afterwards, a recap if you will, or during if sufficiently inebriated as I have already proven once, but generally when sane and sober I find it hard to talk or write about things that are bothering me. And then one day things turn around, the block lifts and it becomes an exercise in hyperbole to see how many words I can fit in without really giving away any details at all. It becomes a rhetoric, a summary, or a collection of "previously"s but from an altogether different vantage point than the one that has the most relevance of all, the vantage point of someone living the story rather than merely observing. Some day I may be able to write about things more honestly, for want of a better word, but for now recaps will have to do. If nothing, they do chronicle the before and after state of an event.

Yesterday’s post wasn’t really about yesterday. It was more of a commentary on the inner state of my mind over the last few weeks leading up to the moment of change. A turning point. Hopefully, one that will stick.

There isn't much I can or want to do right now about my relationship status but there is something I can do about my living situation. 1. Buy my first home .. and so, for the last few weeks I have been out house hunting. And yesterday I found one.

It’s very New York in the heart of the Pacific North West. A beautiful 1 bedroom with a den large enough to sleep two guests in a 5-story red brick building with residential units set above ground floor shops. I almost chickened out. And then, I didn’t. Today I signed the papers.

My apartment (I guess I should get used to calling it a condo) is a third floor unit overlooking the park. It's a preconstruction scheduled to close end of December. In the plan it has a real working fireplace with a brick surround and a white wood mantlepiece. The floors are a rich, dark walnut and the walls are finished in eggshell with white satin trims. The kitchen is a dream in state of the art stainless steel appliances and a full granite countertop with the same granite theme carried to the bath vanity with its his & her dual sinks below a full wall to ceiling mirror. And the best part? A view of the mountains from the charming little balcony off the master bedroom.

I still have some doubts. Only 1 bedroom. What if I have a house full of guests? And the wait? Will I even be here next year?

When I first moved here I told myself it was going to be temporary. Too many memories. I needed to be away from the east coast for a while. But now I am not so sure. I like the rugged simplicity of the North West. Life seems less complicated and although my troubles are by no means all far behind me it’s a start. A New York apartment set among the hills. Coffee and white water rafting, both within a short reach. A girl could do a lot worse. And as for guests, that’s why they invented the pull-out couch.